The Little Things
Who ever said the little things matter most wasn't kidding. Crossing my legs, thigh high boots, having collar bones, cheek bones and smaller feet, just to name a few. When you travel through this journey of new discovery, it's the little things that can really make you stop and say "wow".
Pre- surgery I was A kind of Gennie Garafolo meets Tabatha from salon take over. I lived in my black clothes.I was very "NY " in my cynical outlook and I hated clothes colored pink, and the bigger the jewelry the better.
Post- surgery , I'm like a Cross between Cameron Diaz ( in attitude, I assure you as she is a goddess with that body) and Tabatha. While I still love a nice sleek black outfit, I can now and do now wear pink. Muted pink. Leopard was and will always be my favorite thing to wear. Only now I wear it in touches, not full on pelts. Of course there are a lot more choices the smaller you get. Another unfair detail of life.
One day I took my favorite big beaded necklace and put it on . I suddenly hated it! It covered my collar bones and looked silly in comparison to my head ( which does get smaller which means at one point I actually had fat on my head gshhhh). I never understood girls who wore these dainty little necklaces. Now that's just what I was looking for. It was a very eye opening moment and the beginning of letting go of more of who I once was. It was ok to like different things, to be a new kind of girl, to let the pink in . And also embrace , wait for it, tan. Yes tan! I remember seeing a store, pre-surgery, in the mall that sold only tan clothes and thought "what's the point"? I hated it. I now love tan, neutral and all these " flat" colored clothes. They are beautiful to me. I think it goes along with wanting to blend in and be subtle. I've spent most of my life being loud and obtrusive in style and attitude. That's changing more and more. Don't worry, I'll never be without opinion or style, it's just less in your face now. I still love and admire those styles. Fashion is my addiction. I even make the mistake of buying those pieces and bringing them home, only to be unsatisfied with the look on me. I literally have donated and sold hundreds of pieces of clothes that didn't fit my new "fashion identity". Fun but scary sometimes too.
I sutter at the thought that I now love shoes. Yes I have hundreds of pairs of shoes and let's just say a handbag ALWAYS fits ....
Along with fashion comes little spots of our bodies we never payed attention too before. I just recently have begun to notice my hands. Yes my hands. It sounds weird but in pictures , my hands .I now see wrinkles and age. Yes my fingers look less like little sausages but boy are they wrinkled. I'm ok with it. I'm a mom And I am the age I am. Proud that the wrinkles have made it to my healthy body but gshhh Botox of the hands ???
All the little things add up to be pretty amazing and on the other side of self discovery, I hope each of us finds a beautiful strong person inside and out. Together As a community we can help with the pitfalls and shocking changes, but in the end, it's ourselves we need to learn to love and except and be proud of. That's the best "Little change" we can all make.
